Boundaries

boundariesBoundaries are important in every aspect of life.  I recently read the book “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  Although this book was referenced all throughout my counseling courses in school, I never had taken the time to actually read the book.  I’m so glad I finally did!  For someone who has a hard time saying no, this book was just what I needed.

Some thoughts that I took away from the book:

  1. We are in control of our own lives.  If someone is stepping over our boundaries, it is our sole responsibility to take care of it and communicate our discomfort.  If the boundary crosser doesn’t understand that, then we may need to communicate to them that until they can respect our boundaries, we cannot hang out with them.
  2. Our emotions are our own.  No one else can cause your anger, because you are the only one who can create anger in yourself.  If someone is pushing your boundaries and this makes you angry or upset, you can choose how to respond.  The boundary pusher does not make you angry.  You chose to be angry and you can choose to not be angry anymore.
  3. We are called to treat others as we would like to be treated.  As far as boundaries go, this means that if you want someone to respect your own boundaries, you must respect the boundaries they have set for themselves and do not judge them lest you be judged.
  4. Communication is key.  If someone is not treating you how you want to be treated, go straight to them and let them know.  Don’t hold it inside to where eventually you will explode and don’t go to your mutual friend or family member and complain about them causing unneeded triangulation.  You can lovingly tell someone that they hurt you and together try and formulate a solution.
  5. If you didn’t grow up in a home that valued boundaries you must realize that the older you get the harder it is to set and respect boundaries.  This doesn’t mean that it can’t be done, but it means that others might have a hard time if you’re establishing boundaries later in life.  You must be prepared to handle some negative feedback and answer questions about your new boundaries.

Check out more information on boundaries at http://www.cloudtownsend.com

Warby Parker

 

WPclosedcaseI’ve been hearing about Warby Parker for some time and finally decided to order a new pair of glasses.  I love that they donate a pair for each pair that you buy—those marketing strategies were created for me—some sweet person is need is benefitting from me buying something for myself!

What’s even more fun about WP is their “try them before you buy them” home try on.  Who doesn’t like to try things on before they buy them?  WP lets you choose 5 pairs that they will send you free for 5 days.  At the end of the 5 days, you just send them back in the provided box.  What fun!  I personally put on a little fashion show for my small group when they were at our house, and they cast their vote.  As you can see from the photos, even Ellington tried on a pair!

WPannie

Another great thing about WP is that ordering your glasses is so easy to do.  I had my optometrist email me my RX, and I just uploaded it to my WP account.  Super easy!  My glasses came in about a week in a cute little case with a cleansing cloth.  I’ve received numerous complements on them and haven’t had any problems.WPellington

WP is always designing new collections for both glasses and sunglasses.  They really are trendsetters.  So if you like to wear trendy glasses or sunglasses, you like to feel that you’re helping those in need, and you like simple, easy-to-use websites, I highly recommend Warby Parker.

WPopencase

Goal Setting

 

Everyone makes goals at some point whether you realize you are or not.  We all say things such as, “One day, I’m going to do ______.”  Yes, this is a goal.  In your head, you’ve decided that you, at some point in your life, are going to be someone or do something specific.  As a counselor, I’ve come to realize the importance of setting specific, attainable, and measurable goals.  Without goals, what is our motivation?  What are we working towards?  Goals help us from becoming apathetic, lifeless robots that just go through the motions day in and day out.  Goals bring life!

Here are some pointers to creating working goals:

1.  Know yourself.  Create goals that are realistic for you and your personality.

2.  Make them distinct.  Create a goal providing a specific time frame as well as the steps you will take in order to reach it.  Specific steps are important so that you don’t become complacent along the way.

3.  Vary your goals.  Make short-term and long-term goals, social and career goals, emotional and spiritual goals.

4.  Write them down!  I don’t care how good you think your memory is, if you don’t write your goals down with all the specific steps, chances are, you will not reach that goal as quickly or as efficiently as if you wrote them down with checkpoints along the way.

5.  Tell someone!  Share your goal with a friend, coworker, or family member who will hold you accountable and ask you where you are in achieving your goal from time to time.

Goals require discipline–a word I’m not too fond of, but a subject I will nonetheless touch on in a later post.  I encourage you to set a new goal today and start moving forward in this journey called life!

GF Beer Chili

 

Ingredients:

  •  2 lbs. ground beef
  • 1 package Williams chili seasoning
  • 1 can pinto beanschili
  • 1 can black beans
  • 1 can kidney beans
  • 1 can Rotel
  • 1 small onion
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 1 bottle of Red Bridge gluten free beer
  • Jalapenos, salt and pepper to taste

Optional toppings:

  • Sharp cheddar cheese
  • Green onions
  • Sour cream
  • Fritos

 

Brown the ground beef and drain.  Chop up small onion. Turn heat to medium and add beer and seasoning packet.  Stir chili and add remaining ingredients.  I usually like to cook my chili for at least 1-2 hours so the flavor sets in.  Depending on how long you cook yours and how soupy you like your chili, you might need another ½ bottle of beer.

 

Serve it up, add your toppings, and bon appétit!

1 4 5 6